The Difference Between Perfectionism & Healthy Striving

By, Leslie Zanoff

Author and professor Brené Brown wrote in The Gifts of Imperfection, a must-read for anyone: “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”

In the wellness world, perfectionism can feel right at home. Social media doesn’t help much either, with seemingly flawless pictures from very fit men and women offering their well-intentioned advice. However, it may not be a fit for everybody. Here are five tips to let go of perfectionism and actually make progress.

1. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT - The first step is to realize that, well, you’re a perfectionist! But we’re all human, and it’s simply not possible to be perfect. If you really think about it, being perfect is not productive. It keeps us in the cycle of over-thinking, and we all have different definitions of what “perfect” looks like. However, if you talk to the most successful people in life, they’ll tell you that making mistakes is what helps you grow, not trying to be perfect.

   
   

2. PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION - Sometimes, we are our own worst critics. And we’re outright mean to ourselves! Having self-compassion is easier said than done, but the next time you hear yourself saying “You should…,” just think of how you’d speak to a close friend or family member. You’d be kind. You would use gentle, supportive language and be understanding.

   
   

3. SET GOALS and create a checklist - Having goals that are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound can help monitor your progress. Having a process with measurable targets means you’re clear on where you’re going and why you’re going that way.

   
   

4. CELEBRATE YOUR CONSISTENCY - Sometimes we get so caught up in the outcome that we forget to celebrate the good that’s happening along the way. Taking small steps in the right direction is better than standing still. It’s also good to remember that consistency compounds, not a “perfect” day here and there.

   
   

5. JUST GET STARTED! One antidote to anxiety (and over-thinking) is taking action. Perfectionism can keep you stuck in one place or the same place because of the fear of failure. Don’t let the person holding you back be yourself! Everyone begins at the beginning, and the key is to just get started. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers or know how things will turn out until you simply begin.